we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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