I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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