It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and she was petting her beer can
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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