she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
