I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
