He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
