cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
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I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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