what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
