i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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