My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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