I'm pants shitting drunk right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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