I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
false alarm. still invincible.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Semen is not good for contacts.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
