This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
