So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
