I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
