You just made me feel so damn special
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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