3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
