you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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