I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize