Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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