____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
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dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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