no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
