i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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