Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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