last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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