dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
