I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we're making bets on your personal life
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
