you would pick up someone in the library
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
