you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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