so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
