I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
