just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
