Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
