And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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