I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
