she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
