You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
