sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
