You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
