I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits