On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You can't special order awesome
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
