her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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