Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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