Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How external is "for external use only"?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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