The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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