Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize