After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
