Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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