Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
