Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.