everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She needs sedatives and a leash
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house