my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.