Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo