yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
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When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
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Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.