take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.