That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek