Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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