he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize