I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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