I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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