So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
