if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
